What is mediation and when is it helpful?
Mediation is a way of helping you, as adults whose relationship has broken down, to reach agreement over contact arrangements with children and/or division of property and finance.
A mediator will meet you both initially (either together or separately) to assess whether mediation is appropriate for you. Taking part in mediation is voluntary; no one will force you to mediate. The mediator will listen to you and help you agree a plan that suits you both.
The mediators are impartial and do not take sides. They are not there to tell you what to do, mediation is about making your own decisions. Mediation could help you avoid upsetting and expensive court actions.
Mediation can help you at any stage of your separation. It doesn't matter how long ago you split up or if you have already been to see a solicitor or been to court. It can reduce stress caused by arguments, but mediation is not suitable for everyone. If we cannot help you we will explain this to you.
Providing a service in Norfolk since 1983, we specialise in cases involving children and also property and finance matters. We have experience of helping a wide variety of clients and can mediate between separating or divorcing parents, civil partners, grandparents and parents and cohabiting couples.
Mediation is not....
-
Counselling or therapy - it's about dealing with the practical side of separation, but always giving respect to your feelings
-
Reconciliation - it won't try to get you back together
-
Legal advice - that must come from your solicitor
-
Finding fault or taking sides - it's about deciding what's best for you and your family, so you can all make the most of your lives.
Mediating about children
When, as parents you are no longer together, mediation can help you both decide what is best for your children. Problems like where your children will live, or how they will see you both, can be discussed. It is important that children continue to enjoy a close relationship with both parents if at all possible. If agreement is reached it can be written up into a 'Statement of Outcome' by the mediator.
Sometimes (if you both agree and the mediator does too) your children may be asked what they think. This does not mean your children can make their own decisions but it can help the mediator to understand how they feel about plans affecting them. Children have the same rights to confidentiality as their parents. Children must approve any information from their interview before it is passed on to their parents.
Mediating about property and finances
We can help separating couples to work out the best financial arrangements for their future. This means looking in detail at everything owned by the family and developing ideas about how it should be divided. We need you to be honest with each other.
The mediator will ask you to fill in a number of forms giving full details of what you earn; what you spend your money on; your property; loans or other debts; and other important information. Using this information, you will be helped to negotiate on such matters as the family home, maintenance and child support, possessions and future benefits such as pensions. If agreement is reached a Memorandum of Understanding will be drawn up at the end of mediation.